A Book I'd Burn But Never Close (feat. Simon Bildt)

The first single by ''Van Sinderen''.
Van Sinderen is the project of Esmée van Sinderen, in which she collaborates with a different singer on every song. All music and lyrics are written by Van Sinderen herself, allowing her to tell her own story through music. The freedom to finally express herself creatively means everything to her, especially after rarely having the opportunity to do so in previous projects. Now, the time has come to share her own story with the world.

"A Book I’d Burn But Never Close" is a raw, haunting exploration of loss, memory, and the unanswerable questions left behind by a fractured childhood. The song delves into the complex emotions of grief, confusion, and longing for truth after the death of a parent at a young age.

Composition & Lyrics by Esmée van Sinderen
Produced by Nico Outhuijse and Esmée van Sinderen
Mixed & Mastered by Nico Outhuijse

Camera work: Jorrit Meinsma
Edit: Esmée van Sinderen

Vocals: Simon Bildt
Guitars: Esmée van Sinderen
Bass: Colin Boonstra
Drums: Chris Auckenthaler

Huge thanks to all the brands that support me:
Jackson Guitars, Blackstar Amps, Ernie Ball, Blackfire Pickups, Austrian Audio, Morley, Enki USA

Order the CD and/or bundle here: https://vansinderen.bigcartel.com/

Special thanks to:
Mariska Jannie Douma, Posthuis Theater, Nynke van der Meer, Tim Hiller Brook, James Evans, Tim Dove, Gus G, Bernd Gossi, Pete Fenech, Stefan Kühn, Mike Leon, Nico Outhuijse, Jorrit Meinsma, Chris Auckenthaler, All Patreon members of the Esmée van Sinderen group.

Lyrics:
Two sides of a story to believe,
Always left alone inside of grief.
No place to stand aside your stone,
A thousand screams that died alone.

But now you're up there in the sky,
My brain is filled with only lies.
My mind's a feast for twisted hosts,
A book I’d burn but never close.

Tears were a crime into your eyes,
So I buried my grief beneath the skies.
Twelve years were way too short to me,
To get the truth I had to see.

But now you're up there in the sky,
My brain is filled with only lies
My mind's a feast for twisted hosts,
A book I’d burn but never close.

I trace your name in ash and dust,
Still chained to memories I can’t trust.
Your silence screams louder than words,
In dreams, you’re lost but never burned.

In the dark, your voice still calls,
A shadow whispers through my walls.
I search for answers, but none remain,
Only echoes of forgotten pain.

But now you're up there in the sky,
My brain is filled with only lies
My mind's a feast for twisted hosts,
A book I’d burn but never close.